Remember it’s equal to Jihad if you fight your desire. So what you want that Allah knows about you? Would you be rather be happy knowing that angel tell Allah that “Your servant was abstaining from his addiction which You do no like” or “Your servant did that what you had hated”. The outgoing angel will take your deeds to Allah which Allah asks that “What was my servant doing when you left him/her” and the angel will tell them. Know that everytime you do that, your angel on left will be writing down you deed and when they change shift. I m no where near pious as I had been lost in many ways and still in some ways but finding my ways to find myself. Keep yourself in check, open door of room so you have some accountability. It is annoying for introvert but what I am trying to say, if you got a small laptop, get bigger screen (this will come handy when you have kids). Loose clothes make arousement and access easy.
Why? Say u saw a Instagram post that make u arouse, u find similar images which excite u and make more blood flow and causes dopamine and one thing leads to another n before u know it your watching pornhub or soft sexual on website (to justify it isn’t porn). Make a rule that u do no need to use that evil thing in bed. Never use laptop/mobile or tablet in bed. It’s easy to say that we masterbuate coz of no sexual contact, while that is true to very less extend but we have to find underlaying problem (ever had that flood of excitement before you do it and it goes way after your done?) that is dopamine and we r become addictive to it. This isn’t a solution, yes I m married for long time and got kids. (For me someone who molested me put me into this) I was 35 and I recently controlled my addiction which started at 13. I will share a personal story as your story resonates with mine.
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